Esther-Faith has taken to telling us how she plans to raise her kids. Especially when she is dissatisfied with a decision we've made in regards to parenting her.
"When I'm a grown up, I'm going to let my kids sleep outside every single night."
"When I have kids I'm going to let them eat only candy, twizzlers, marshmallows, and gummy snacks."
"When I have kids, I'm never going to make them take a shower."
"When I have kids I'm going to build them a tree house to live in by themselves."
"I'm never going to make my daughter brush her hair."
And my favorite...
"When I have kids, they're all going to get their own iPads."
She says other stuff, too. As we've increased the chatter around here about getting more siblings, tonight she announced that she would really like a sister from China.
Insisted on it.
Because if brothers are going to come in groups, then she wants a baby sister to balance things out.
And she is presently putting headbands and makeup on her older brother. And hanging pony tail holders off his ears like earrings. He's getting kind of annoyed as he is trying to memorize the course catalog for high school next year. When he tells her that he is planning to take it all off in one minute, she declares "that's how they do it in Spain."
And the boys are hysterical, too. Isaac has invested every cent that he's been saving over the last few months on "accessories" for his robot. He has purchased an additional "design" book. And he spends hours on the laptop writing programs.
He has all but abandoned his never-ending quest to play video games.
Isaiah is just moody. For the love of all things green and blue on this planet, I cannot wait for adolescence to be over. He told me the other day that all of the problems in his life are directly related to or caused by me. Even his zits. That I am the most awful mother in the history of mothers and HOW DARE I expect him to do a couple of basic chores. And shower. That none of his friends' moms make them shower. And why can't he just do whatever he wants whenever he wants with whomever he wants without telling us where he will be?
I don't know. Maybe I am a bad mom.
Isaiah sat Tim and me down a couple of weeks ago and shared with us the "three pillars of bad parenting" that we possess.
1. We have high expectations for him.
2. We don't let him hang out with his friends until his chores are completed.
3. We don't let him have a cell phone with a data plan.
Sometimes, it's just hard not to laugh.
After that conversation, Tim googled "pillars of bad parenting" to see if there was a book about it. He didn't find anything. So, he said he was going to suggest to Isaiah that he should write a book about it.
I think he is.
I hope Isaiah lets Tim write the forward to that book. It would be hysterical.
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